Go bless yourself

Me: *Earth-rattling sneeze*
E:   .....
Me: "Hello?"
E: "What?"
Me: "I sneezed."
E: "Oh. I didn't hear you."
Me: "You're close enough for me to touch. How did you not hear that?"
E: *shrug*

60 seconds later:

Me: *Earth-rattling sneeze*
E:   .....
Me: "You didn't hear that one?"
E: "Did you sneeze again?"
Me: "Yes. It was loud."
E: "Sorry. I'm listening to this song. Can you please turn it up a little?"

2 minutes later:

Me: *Earth-rattling sneeze*
E: "I heard it that time."
Me: "And?"
E: "It was loud."
Me: "What do you say when someone sneezes?"
E: "Excuse me?"
Me: "No...."
E: "Oh. Bless you."

5 minutes later:

Me: *Earth-rattling sneeze*
E: "Excuse you."

Sigh. Progress?