I'm behind the times...

In reference to Gwen Stefani singing before the Cowboys vs. Giants game...

Me: "She sounds awful. I usually like her."
E: "Yeah. The recorded version of this song on Spongebob was much better."
Me: "What? This was on Spongebob?"
E: *Starts singing the song*
E: "Would I know those lyrics if it hadn't been? It's not like I have an MP5 player or anything."
Me: "MP3?"
E: "Yep. I probably would have known it was MP3 if I had one."
Me: "I didn't know you wanted one."
E: "I don't want to get all of my new music from Spongebob, Mom."

It's a toss-up....

E had a friend spend the night. After a big breakfast, I asked them to take out the trash.

While walking out with the bag...

E: "Ugh. I hate having to take out the trash."
Friend: "I know. My mom doesn't really make me take out the trash."
E: "Man. I wish I had your mom."

On the walk back....

E: "Didn't you say your mom never really makes pancakes?"
Friend: "Yep."
E: "Hm. That makes it a tough choice, then."

A glimpse into the future...

Me: "Look how big your feet are getting! You're growing up too fast - stop it!"
E: "Not gonna stop. I'll be taller than you soon."
Me: "Ridiculous. I'm going to use this remote control to rewind your age back a few years."

*I make a goofy rewind sound*

E: "Goo Goo Gah Gah. Change my diepee!"
Me: "Oh, no way. Need to fast forward just a little bit."

*I make a goofy fast forward sound*

E: "You went too far, Mom. I'm ten now. Quit treating me like a baby. I hate living here and can't wait to get my own place."
Me: "WHAT?! That's how you're going to feel when you're TEN?!"
E: "It's hard to know how I'll feel when I'm ten. I imagine I'll be pretty moody, though."
Me: "I think moody is supposed to happen around 12 or 13."
E: "Well, I hope I never hate living here and stay here forever."
Me: "Hm. Maybe I'll just hit the pause button on 8."

No rest for the bunny...

It's almost 11pm, and E and I had a lovely Easter. While I'm typically a night owl, I'm absolutely exhausted...even though E and I had a seemingly relaxing day. It finally occurred to me that while today was relaxing, last night was not.

10:00pm:

Me: Happily stuffing eggs, drinking wine, catching up on mindless TV, hopping around with a basket and finding sneaky places to hide eggs.
E: Sleeping.

11:30pm:

Me: Walking to my bedroom, gleefully anticipating the moment when my head hits the pillow.
E: "Mom!!"
Me: Trying to regain composure after nearly having a heart attack. "Yes, babes?"
E: "It's almost Easter!"
Me: "I know, sweets. Get some sleep. Love you."

12:45am:

E: Two inches away from my face. "Psst. Mom! Can I go get a drink of water?"
Me: "Why are you waking me up to ask me?"
E: "Because if the *ahem* bunny came, I don't want to ruin the surprise."
Me: Sigh. "I'll get you some water."

2:00am:

Me: Half-asleep and stumbling to the restroom.
E: Poking his head in the bathroom since he's intent on killing his Mother before Easter. "Mom!!"
Me: "Holy...what?! What are you doing awake?"
E: Dismissively. "Having a hard time sleeping. It's Easter, you know."
Me: "Babe, you need to go back to bed."
E: "When can we wake up and find eggs?"
Me: "Later."

6:00am:

E: Two inches away from my face. "Psst. Mom! It's 6am!"
Me: "Baby pleeease go back to bed for a bit. Just a little bit."
E: "I'm not really tired."
Me: "Let's sleep for 30 more minutes. You can stay in my bed."
E: "Ok."

6:30:00am:

E: "Mom! It's 6:30. Can we get up now?!"
Me: "Yes."
E: "Can I find eggs?"
Me: "Just let me get my coffee and camera first."
E: "Awesome." (Starts singing an ad-lib song about how he's the egg master and will find every one in record speed.)

7:00am:

E: Counting his money and making candy mountains ala Scarface. "The *ahem* Easter bunny must be rich."
Me: "Why?"
E: "He goes around to so many houses and gives kids his money."
Me: "He's probably poor after Easter."
E: "Who would give away all of their money to a kid?"
Me: "A mother."

7:20am:

Me: Starting to doze on the couch.
E: "Is it time for pancakes?"

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter! Off to bed!

Comments from the peanut gallery...

E: "Mom, can we listen to some different music?"
Me: "This music is awesome."
E: "What was that girl even talking about? Ekurnel flames?"
Me: "Eternal flame. It's about love. Yay!"
E: "Can we change the music in a few minutes?"
Me: "In a little bit, yes."

2 minutes later...

E: "What about this song? I can't even understand it."
Me: "Papa Don't Preach is a classic. It's by Madonna."
E: "Is she talking to her Grandpa or something?"
Me: "Dad. About a baby."
E: "Yep. She's keeping the baby. Your music is weird."

5 minutes later...

E: "While we finish listening to your music, can we sing quietly?"
Me: "Absolutely! Sing away!"
E: "But can you sing quietly? Instead of loudly?"
Me: *Sigh*

The invisible M...

Quizzing him on his spelling words while driving home...

Me: "How do you spell adjust?"
E: "A-D-J-U-S-T."
Me: "Awesome. Crucial."
E: "C-R-U-C-I-A-L."
Me: "Unpredictable."
E: "U-N-P-R-E-D-I-C-T-A-B-L-E."
Me: "Great! Problem."
E: "P-R-O-M-B-L-E-M."
Me: "Not quite. There's only one M."
E: "P-R-O-M-B-L-E...but it doesn't make sense without the M at the end."
Me: "Yep. That's the one that should stay."
E: "Ooooh! The M in the middle is invisible?"
Me: "Nope. No M in the middle. No M sound in the middle, either. Pro-blem."
E: "Prom-blem. See? There's an M sound."
Me: "Pro-blem. Not Prom-blem."
E: "What? Since when?"
Me: "Since forever. It's always been Pro-blem."
E: "Sometimes I just don't understand the English language. It seems like things are always changing."

He brings me snacks...

E: "Hey, mom. I cleaned out my tote tray at school and brought home all of the leftover snacks."
Me: "These have been in your tote tray? Gross. Have you not been eating your snacks?"
E: "I do. But sometimes I don't have time to finish. And I'm only 8 and you pack too much."
Me: "So why didn't you trash them?"
E: "I dunno. Thought you might want to do something with them."
Me: "Like trash them?"
E: "Like eat them. Or trash them. Your choice."

What's mine is his, what's his is his...

Me: "E? Did you open my new pack of socks?"
E: "Yep. Couldn't find a matching pair in my drawer and the new pack was just sitting there."
Me: "You stick to your socks. I don't want mine getting all grubby."
E: "I'm not grubby. I just borrowed them."
Me: "Right. I'm about to start laundry. I'll throw them in the wash."
E: "Ok. Here ya go. I'm going to go brush my teeth."

Brand new socks. Worn one day. By a boy. To school.

This is why I can't have nice things.