Pee Happens

E: (From the bathroom) "Moooom! Can you bring me some toilet paper?"
Me: "Yep. You ought to check for that before you go poops next time."
E: "No poops. I just peed all over the toilet and floor."
Me: "Awesome."

Moms love wasting your time

Me: "I love the card you made me."
E: "It wasn't that good."
Me: "It was awesome! Moms always love homemade cards the best."
E: "Really? Why?"
Me: "It's extra special because you took the time to make it and it has your words and artwork."
E: "That makes sense. Moms like it when you waste your time."
Me: "Spend your time?"
E: "Yeah. That's what I said."

Mother's Day: Unnecessary shopping. And spending.

While at his Grandma's house (my Mom) on Sunday...

Grandma: "E, when I pick you up from school tomorrow we need to go pick out a Mother's Day gift for your mom."
E: "Ok."
Grandma: "Do you know what you want to get her?"
E: "No. How much can I spend?"
Grandma: "About fifty dollars."
E: "How much of my money do I have to use?"
Grandma: "Ten dollars."
E: "Ten dollars? If we spend exactly fifty dollars, do I still have to use my money?"
Grandma: "Probably not, but you need to bring your money just in case."
E: "Let's just plan on sticking to fifty dollars."

Later (still at Grandma's house)...

E: "Mom, what do you want for Mother's Day?"
Me: "Oh, just something from the heart."
E: "Grandma, she said she wants flowers."

Today, after being picked up by Grandma....

Grandma: "Did you think of what you want to get your mom?"
E: "I was at school learning. I didn't have time to think about random thoughts."
Grandma: "That's random?"
E: "Thinking about what to get mom for Mother's Day is definitely random."

While out shopping with Grandma...

Salesperson: "This Bluetooth is $49.99, and it's the best one we have. Quality-wise, I'd rank it above the one that's $129.99."
Grandma: "Thanks for your help."
E: "Grandma? You were just thinking about the $49.99 one, right? And not the really expensive one?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't think we're going to get it."
E: "Good."

On our way home from Grandma's....

Me: "So did you guys find a gift while you were out?"
E: "No. She told me to think about it and she'll take me shopping this weekend."
Me: "Oh, ok."
E: "I'm not sure if I'll have time to think about it much, though. Hopefully she'll have some ideas."
Me: "Awesome."


Expectations: I don't have them.